Self-Presentation

Several months ago, my wife and I made a cautious decision to allow our 12-year-old daughter to open an Instagram account.  I should clarify…we opened it on her behalf and have all of her log-in information and can therefore close it at any time.  We made this choice because we want to teach our children how to use social media appropriately.  It can be a tool, an art, a weapon, a vice.  We are determined to do our part in ensuring that it only be used as a tool and an expression of creativity, particularly as my daughter has a keen interest in photography.  

While Keziah is beginning to understand the ins and outs of aperture, ISO, shutter speed, and white balance, she has for the most part preferred to remain behind the lens…that is until recently. After going over all of the rules and being very clear about boundaries, we have released our daughter into the wild world of social media.  And in so doing, we have been given a window into the mind and development of an adolescent girl.

If you take a gander at my 12-year-old daughter’s Instagram account, it will become evident that she is exploring with self-presentation. We often joke about her selfies and the pouty lip pose.  She alters her presentation and selects pictures to post that mirror what is popular and trending in social media.  This is a form of what is called impression management (PRR, n.d.).   I recently overheard her expressing the woes of having a great picture that she wants to post but that she can’t because it doesn’t fit in with the color coordination and general theme of her existing photos.  Her sister, Mia, is far less concerned with fitting herself into constructs that limit her freedom and conform to what is trending.  Mia retorted, “That’s stupid. If you like the picture, just post it.  Who cares if it matches your other photos.”  It’s tough being 12. 

“Self-presentation refers to our wanting to present a desired image both to an external audience (other people) and to an internal audience (ourselves). We work at managing the impressions we create” (Myers & Twenge, 2015, p. 56). Keziah is learning from personal experience that the easiest impression to manage is a real one.  We have had many conversations regarding her personal motivations, as “audience pleasing” is one of the primary motivations involved when exploring self-presentation (Baumeister & Hutton, 1987).  We have concluded that for now, she is exhibiting behaviors consistent with normal adolescent development.  Having said that, my wife and I are monitoring it closely and spend a considerable amount of time affirming Keziah’s beauty – both inside and out.  

Baumeister R.F., Hutton D.G. (1987) Self-Presentation Theory: Self-Construction and Audience Pleasing. In: Mullen B., Goethals G.R. (eds) Theories of Group Behavior. Springer Series in Social Psychology. Springer, New York, NY

Myers, David, Jean Twenge. Social Psychology, 12th Edition. McGraw-Hill Learning Solutions, 10/2015. VitalBook file.
Psychology Research and Reference. (n.d.). Self-presentation. Retrieved from http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/self/self-presentation/